Last Sunday, I turned 30. It’s funny that I have planned such day all year long and yet there is no activity happened. I was caught up with work and let the planning astray.
The Celebration
The day before my birthday,l I was in a summit. Olivia, the mobile app I am handling (launching soon) joined the Ring of Fire competition. We had a booth and met tons of people.
The day ended around 7 PM, and I went home to Calamba to celebrate my birthday there.
It was laid back, just like most years, but this time my siblings and parents did prepare for it while I ran outside and take pictures with my dogs.
These are the birthdays I cherished the most.
Thanks to my sister for jumpstarting the celebration, preparing all the food, and taking photos of me.
I still cooked some dishes, but it didn’t felt like it was a pressure to do so.
My Reflection
I think I am in between of everything – the circle of friends, career status, marriage journey.
My circle of friends are either the young once who just started their career, and the others are already moms who got busy with their mommy duties.
Career-wise I would say I am pretty much okay, but I am still all over the place.
Marriage? We just had our place a couple of months ago, and it was terrific.
Before I jumped into my next birthday goals, I want to jot down my 30 learnings from this year alone.
Finance
- Spend wisely – Not all the things we want is what we need. From the simple hoarding of groceries or randomly shopping online, think before you spend. Even if it is on sale, it does not mean that it is a smart buy.
- Pay debts – We have encountered some friends that used our credit cards and didn’t pay for it. We ended up paying for it, and I tell you, damn frustrating to see your hard-earned money go. If someone will borrow money from you, evaluate if the amount is something you can let go of if the person decided to ghost on you.
- Track your spending – If we have visibility on our spending, it will help us make sound financial decisions. It will assess whether we spent too much on unnecessary conveniences like grab car or milk tea. lol
- Have SMART financial goals – We all want to save at least an x amount every month, but do we know where are we allocating those savings? If you have financial goals, you will be able to compute how much you need to save or invest.
- Reward yourself, but not too much – This is best done with #4 cause there is no better reward than funding a wish list with your hard-earned money.
Career
- Pay it forward – I noticed that when I help others with their quick career needs (advice or service), opportunities open up for me. It has also become my way of learning as I self start studying or experimenting with new skills to pass on to someone.
- Have focus – It’s hard to let go of the things we used to do, and we are good at for growth. I still find it hard to focus on what I want to do. I have been doing events for the past ten years, and I am still in awe but anxious at the same time. The recent events I handled, particularly weddings, gave me sleepless nights. I panic whenever there is an event coming up.
- Slow down – Yes, we need the salary, but sanity is essential. When I was told to increase my income stream to cover financial needs, I turned myself into a fish feed thrown at a pond of Koi. I made myself available and over-committed to tasks that I failed to do so. Even if I finished them it is half baked. If I don’t slow down and focus, it’ll hurt my reputation big time.
- Build meaningful relationships – Networking got me where I am now. I would still say that this is one of the best things we could do to market ourselves and meet mentors, colleagues, and business partners.
- Keep learning, keep growing – As the world evolves to be as modern as it can be, we must adopt new set skills for us to be relevant. It could be a career shift or an upgrade; it doesn’t matter; we shall learn and grow.
Marriage
- Be there for each other – It was a tough Q2 and Q3 for us. I am on the edge of a meltdown, and he is struggling with his career. Even if we have individual conflicts, we must be present for each other.
- Be forgiving – Our daily interactions make us snap and sometimes the reasons are petty. The world around us is too cruel to be grumpy, and we are around our loved ones. Be forgiving of the small things he/she does and see the difference.
- Keep the fire burning – Always rekindle the romantic phase of your relationship. Whether you’ve been together over a decade or have children, fall in love again and again.
- Communicate – This is the most improved part of my relationship with my husband. I do silent treatment all the time, and it didn’t help us to grow because we don’t know the improvements we need to do along the way. When we started communicating, things got more transparent, and we were able to adjust to each other’s preferences.
- Sit down – I always felt resentment whenever I won’t get support making household decisions. They say women are right, and the truth is we want our husband to decide “sometimes” lol. If we are all by ourselves matching the budget, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, planning the meal, and then catching with our career? We will go insane. When we start doing things together, we felt like a team ready to conquer the world.
Friendship and other relationships
- Reach out – We react when some of our friends disappear. But did we do something to keep the connection? Ask yourself. Don’t get me wrong; some people are not our tribe. But our tribe deserves to be checked once in a while. Ask if they are okay. Meet them once in a while. Keep the connection alive.
- Cut ties – Toxic people are the ones we want to avoid. It unconsciously affects our well being. If you think someone doesn’t do any good to you, start walking away. If they are too negative on social media, you have the right to unfollow them. Don’t let toxic people penetrate your mind and turn you to one.
- Support them – if your family or friends ventured into something, support them. Buy their products, avail of their services, tell them they are doing great. A person who is pursuing something for themselves does not need your unsolicited advice. If they invite you to like their page or attend a ribbon-cutting ceremony, be there.
- Be kind – Stop judging or jumping into conclusion on stories you heard somewhere. If there are rumours about them, don’t spread it. Keep their secrets if they trusted you. Always choose to be kind; the world is cruel already. Be the one to cheer someone not put them down.
Self
- Say no – This is the hardest, but the more I do this, the more quality time I get. When we chase our dreams, we say yes to every opportunity, to every people who ask to do something. Learn to say no, choose your battles.
- Be consistent – Success follows when we consistently do something. In fitness, if we eat right and exercise, we will see results. Same goes with our career if we always deliver a great job and give excellent customer satisfaction, we will excel. I want to be consistent, this is difficult, but I will surely try and try and try.
- Chase your dreams – We are shy about our desires. Until now, I am confused about whether I wanted a career or a home. Let’s be bold to chase our dreams and be proud of it.
- Hibernate – In this hyperconnected world, we are working 24/7. We have forgotten to put boundaries between life and work. We overwork to catch up with society and for the wrong decision, we made earlier. If you are tired, it is okay to take a break. Hibernate I say so you can reset your mind and body. Be lazy! Read a book, laugh, walk, and sleep. It will avoid crashing and burning. Schedule your restart once in a while.
- Choose you – and lastly, choose you. Getting to know yourself will help you make better decisions in life. It will let you not settle for less. If you love yourself, you will be able to give love to other people. Be selfless but always, CHOOSE YOU.
Final words
I want to apologise to all the people I have disappointed – work colleagues, clients, friends, family, and loved ones. I was at the limbo.
I thank you for accepting me, loving me, and trusting me despite my imperfections.
I cannot guarantee that I am a changed woman after turning thirty. But I will thrive on being the best version of myself to spread passion, kindness, and love.
May your good soul be blessed all the time.
